It saddens me that so many people are discussing the looks of the blogger-wife of an "anti-hero" when this video and subsequent communication illustrates huge real-world issues that we all still have a lot to work on.
I will leave the linguistic aspect behind for now, although it served as a trigger for the conflict. But the integration of war veterans into a conditionally peaceful society requires big changes in people's thinking, because we in the rear and they at the front experience this war very differently, and different experiences form a completely different attitude to life.
In Kyiv, I never imagine the horrors they deal with every day. On the other hand, the military has a sense of self-determination that I lack. Many of us have a feeling of shame and guilt in the back, more or less conscious. And they sometimes play a bad joke with us, transforming into aggression. All of us - those who return from the front, and those who experienced losses, occupation, destruction - must learn to interact, not to conflict.
The perception of veterans as people with mental disorders is a separate problem . We have already learned the abbreviation PTSD [Post-traumatic stress disorder], but our understanding of it is often limited to dramatic scenes of hallucinations and violence from American films.
Our collective mental health literacy is still very low. We do not distinguish between disorders and diseases. We stigmatize people with disorders because we fear what we don't understand. A very well-thought-out, large-scale educational campaign is needed here, because now we either heroize the military while they perform the function of protection for us, or stigmatize them when they stop performing this function. They are either superhuman or inferior human. Both are dehumanization.
We deprive them of their humanity. But the military are people. With different experience, with different qualities, but people. And they should be treated not as cartoon superheroes or as unfortunate destroyed shadows, but as people who definitely deserve respect, gratitude and admiration. At the same time, they need understanding, support, and empathy. Like all of us.
And yes, you can criticize a military man for a contemptuous or aggressive tone, but he has the right for it. He does because he was there. He did what I did not dare to do. He did and saw things that I had never imagined. He is there for himself and for me. I owe him. I owe him more understanding, more respect, more patience... I will always be indebted to him. Always.
I'm glad the story ended with an apology and a handshake. I hope this is a good sign.